I don’t like appearing ambivalent – it leads to confusion and misunderstanding – so to be clear, I feel conflicted about the fight to repeal the American military policy that prohibits gay men and women from serving openly. I am not hawkish, at all, so the idea that one would actively, eagerly participate in a war remains foreign to me. That said, I strongly support the plan to repeal the policy of “don’t ask, don’t tell” simply because it is another form of institutionalized, sanctioned discrimination against gays, intolerable and unacceptable. I find it frustrating (and often embarrassing) to be continually writing about the obvious persecution of gay men and women, whose instincts are noble and true, and who are asked to lie about themselves, to be repeatedly told that there is some defect that needs to be keep quiet, hidden, a weakness of some sort. The policy vandalizes the idea of equality and of humanity.
Therefore, to underline, again, the criminal stupidity of the American policy of “don’t ask, don’t tell,” meet Just-a-Joe, a pseudonym for an active American soldier fighting the war in Iraq, who has been blogging anonymously for RepealNow.org since only March 20th. He is gay, and appears to have been motivated to author the blog mostly because of the Senate Commission hearings on the repeal, offering his opinion on GetEqual.org, Dan Choi, and General Sheehan’s now retracted remarks on the Dutch Army and gay soldiers, and the practice of pretending to be straight to fellow service members. All that changed quite quickly, a post published Thursday, March 25th titled Breaking the Silence beginning with the words “Today, I came out of the closet.” It happened, as these things often do, by accident, in a moment of conflicting emotions, like, Just-a-Joe relates, when he came out to his parents at the age of sixteen. However, at day’s end, Just-a-Joe wrote “whatever happens, I can say that today was an awesome day. I felt those same feelings as that sixteen year-old self. Pride.”
On Saturday, March 27th, Just-a-Joe’s entry begins “Today I was informed that my command would be initiating an investigation on me. My luck with “Don’t ask, Don’t Tell” is up. To be honest today has thrown so much in my face, I want to cry. I am at a loss of what to do. The other day, I felt honourable. I felt prideful. Today, I feel like a fucking criminal. I am tired. After serving this country for three years, in two deployments, I am no longer a soldier. I am now a prisoner. Let me be clear, because I thought this would be freeing, I thought I would be happier. I am not. Today, I am worse off than the previous three years.”
Later that same day, Just-a-Joe's mood, thankfully, changed, and he is angry and prepared to fight, writing that he is now motivated, eager to break the silence because gay quality is too important. Of the policy that bans gay men and women from serving openly in the military, writes Just-a-Joe “this is not a policy debate! This is not a religious issue! This is not a matter of why or how or when or what! This is a matter of national security, of American patriotism, of honor! Today I was I told I was a criminal, for what? For defending my county while being a homosexual.” He adds that he has “a message to our government, to President Obama, to our nation! I fought for your freedoms! I am in Iraq now! I am currently fighting for your freedoms and if you can give me the decency of honesty, of my integrity, my dignity, then I am done serving you. I will not be subjected to the cruel acts of religious morality checking. This is not for the government nor my leaders to decide. I am an American soldier, not a terrorist! A soldier, what they call a hero. I give my blood and sweat to this country just as much as some of you and more than most of you! Change this for me.”
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