Tom Brady Bags It, Cristiano Ronaldo Waxes It, Jake Plays Straight, Michael Phelps Makes More Money, Neil Patrick Harris Takes Manhattan

The sexy and suddenly shy Hall of Fame DILF New England Patriot quarterback Tom Brady, who missed this past season with an opening day injury that required two surgeries, gets only organic goodness Monday, from his neighborhood Gelsons grocery in Los Angeles, and with the rumors rampant that the Patriots are about to place quarterback Matt Cassel with a franchise tag, it may be that Brady will be unavailable to play next season as well.

Cristiano Ronaldo, as befits an international soccer star and sex symbol, made the scene in Madeira, Portugal, although I prefer the non-waxed Ronaldo to the much waxed model.

When not offering free master classes in acting straight, Jake Gyllenhaal and “girlfriend” Reese Witherspoon go about their business like you and I, attending a Los Angeles Lakers game for example, or shopping at Petco, for another example, always making with the heroic heterosexual effort.

Non-practicing homosexual and Olympic gold medal record holder Michael Phelps signed an endorsement deal that to term lucrative would be a gross understatement. Mr. Phelps (where is “Caz” by the way?) is to earn over one million dollars to be the spokesperson for Mazda in China, and seriously, with the all the monies can he not visit an esthetician as things hair-wise appear to have grown out of control?

Practicing homosexual and the very cute Neil Patrick Harris departs from Los Angeles International Airport Sunday en route to New York where he will spend the week in rehearsals for his hosting role this coming Saturday, January 10th, when he will be at the helm at the first live Saturday Night of 2009, along with musical guest Taylor Swift.